Dorothy Haynes: Divorce in the Digital World

For many people, divorce means the end of a relationship and limited future contact with a former spouse. However, for partners with children, a romantic relationship can end but parenting is forever. In recent years, technology has eased some of the anxiety and annoyance for former spouses and future co-parents.

Working with clients throughout Long Island and Utah, I often see the strain on couples trying to make parenting arrangements when they otherwise have difficulty maintaining a civil conversation.

With almost 20 years of experience with high conflict divorce, we also see technology has become a real bonus to people struggling to do right for their children without being caught in unpleasant face-to-face discussions or phone calls.

Consider these points:

Email: Just as electronic mail streamlined everyday communication, the ubiquitous and free nature of email now supports most divorced couples dealing with children. Conversations formerly fraught with tension are reduced to exchange of details and attention to practical matters. Also used between parent and child, email provides a private setting to make plans, air complaints or promote conversation between family members.
Texts: Similar to email in reducing emotionally loaded conversations, texting offers a means to deliver immediate updates and information without the necessity of phone calls. Texts are also another great way to provide quick, instant support for your child.
Calendaring: Online calendar apps allow parents to share calendars with minimal interaction. More information and less interaction often make for a better coordinated and happier custodial environment.

Software to assist high conflict couples deal with visitation, expenses and other issues continues to evolve and allows parents to enjoy greater distance from each other ¾ without forcing that distance on their children.

Concerns of Later Life Divorce

Divorce at any age is stressful, destabilizing and often economically difficult. But a divorce that comes after many years of marriage, at a time when most couples are thinking of retiring, is especially difficult emotionally and financially.

In March of this year, a study from the National Center for Family Life and Marriage Research reported the divorce rate of couples over age 50 doubled between 1990 and 2010. Looking for real love — or simply tired of disconnected relationships — many baby boomers no longer fear living single.

If you are an older American thinking about divorce, you need to consider the unique issues you face and position yourself accordingly during divorce negotiations. These points should be considered:

Give the divorce process its due. If you’ve been married for decades, take some time to consider finances and other issues carefully, even though you or your spouse may be aching to be free. Strategically, you can negotiate more easily with a nonhostile spouse. Try to keep things friendly and fair but make sure you have top-notch legal counsel who understands your economic condition.

Think about assets. Consider whether either of you really needs to keep the house. What about Social Security benefits and other insurance and retirement accounts? With fewer years to rebuild your retirement nest egg, you need to make protecting and maintaining wealth for retirement an important issue in a later life divorce.

Understand your debt and your budget. Make clear agreements and arrangements to retire debt so that your quality of life doesn’t suffer if you divorce later in life.

Free Consultation with Divorce Attorney

If you have a question about divorce law or if you need to start or defend against a divorce case in Utah call Ascent Law at (801) 676-5506. We will help you.